People Like Us
[ed – Reblogged from user “Whisper” at Reddit’s RedPillWomen]
“Is it really just a cover up used by abusive dominant men who enjoy smacking their lady around?”
From what I’ve read of the subject, relationships of this kind are often suggested by the submissive, rather than the dominant partner.
I remember in particular reading the firsthand tale of one woman buying a book on this in secret, spending weeks mustering the nerve to present it to her husband, and immediately rushing out of the room in embarrassed tears after doing so, to hide in the bedroom and bury her face in a pillow.
Does that sound like an excuse for abuse to you?
Perhaps most people don’t realize just how damn many women are into this on some level. Once you learn to spot this, it’s all over the place, and there’d be a lot more of it still if there weren’t so many of those women ashamed and thinking they are the only one, or curious about it and scared to try. Seriously, some of you reading this (and I know there are some of you), you are not alone. If you have sexual fantasies about your man taking charge in the bedroom and being rough and forceful with you, you are in the majority. If your fantasies are more specific, about being tied up or spanked, or dominated by a controlling man, or if you have ever had a fantasy about being raped, then you may not be quite the majority, but there’s a lot of you. Certainly more numerous than the gays.
Among those with these urges, it’s not uncommon to find emotional fulfillment and satisfaction in moving that dynamic of control beyond the confines of the bedroom. It’s not always merely a sexual turn on.
“I was under the impression that taking it outside the bedroom was pretty rare? Do you have more information on how common it is?”
I don’t have statistics, but in my personal experience with a good many submissive women, there are three dynamics:
– The “bedroom-only” submissive. Wants to be spanked during sexytimes, doesn’t like males having power over her when she has her clothes on. Rarest.
– The slave. Wants to be the property of her man, to trust and obey him absolutely in everything. Uncommon, but less rare than the first type.
-The subservient woman. Somewhere in between these two. Turned on by BDSM during sexytimes, finds emotional satisfaction from the dominance of trusted male authority outside the bedroom. Has limits to what she will comply with, and needs to be able to trust before obeying, but craves fulfillment of those conditions, because that dynamic makes her truly happy. Most common.
The reason most people think that moving it outside the bedroom is rare is that only the second category is publicized as such. But a woman doesn’t have to wear a locking collar to enjoy giving up some power in her daily life.
The third category is a sort of silent majority of submissive women, kept silent by the public shame inflicted by feminists and feminist-influenced culture should they dare to speak out. The first category escapes this shaming by having an easier time staying in the closet, and because they are at least marginally acceptable to all but the most extreme of feminists should they choose to out themselves. The second category, while they certainly dare not out themselves to their families or professional colleagues, are generally far beyond caring what feminists think.
It is the third category of submissive woman who is hit hardest by the taboo against female submission in relationships. She is hit even harder than the sort of men whose attention she craves, for while we are certainly subject to character assassination, slander, and aspersions that we are “misogynists”, “sociopaths”, or “sick perverts” one short step from serial murder, our dominant preferences at least allow us to feel comfortable ignoring a great deal of ignorant hate.
A submissive woman, by her very nature, is keenly inclined to suffer (and not in a fun, sexy way) when criticized by the public (or loudmouthed feminist talking heads) for being who she is. And yet being submissive is no more a choice for her than being heterosexual (or not). The more submissive she is, the more she suffers from being held unacceptable by the “matriarchy”.
This category includes, in my experience, a great many women, perhaps even a majority. Those who doubt me should go read a romance novel.
“I’m not really submissive or subservient to “men” in general, but rather to my partner in particular.”
Any submissive woman is going to pick a particular man to obey. Even women who are slaves are slaves to a particular man as their master.
However, you are subservient (I use term to distinguish this from submissiveness in the bedroom-only sense) to a particular man because you want a man to be subservient to, and he’s the one you like best.
If he got hit by a bus, you wouldn’t suddenly lose your submissive tendencies. You would grieve for a time, pick up the pieces, find another man, and be subservient to him.
Your obedience is not an artifact of this relationship alone, but of your nature. If you’re not serving a man, it’s because you can’t find one you’re comfortable serving… and you’re going to wish you could, and probably be looking for one.
I must, however, confess to some puzzlement as to why any woman who likes and trusts men enough to submit to one of them would describe herself as a [feminist, a] member of what is essentially an anti-male interest group.
He said be proud of what you are
There’s something special ’bout people like us
People like us
Gonna make it because
We don’t want freedom
We don’t want justice
We just want someone to love.
- Female Submission and its Enemies & A Response to Jungle Jain (hipsterracist.wordpress.com)
- I Like to Think We Have Something to Offer (margeryandtheman.wordpress.com)
- Submissive and Feminist? (beyondenlightenment.wordpress.com)
- Dominant and Submissive Types? (thesubmissionofelle.wordpress.com)
- to submit (submissivesuite.wordpress.com)
- A Refutation of the Article: Feminists Are Wrong – True Gender Equality Would Be a Nightmare (shootingtruthbullets.wordpress.com)
- No Robin Thicke, You’re Not Starting A Feminist Movement (biblacknonbeliever.wordpress.com)