Hipster Racism Field Report

BULLETIN: HR-23
DISTRIBUTION: ALL ASSETS
CLASSIFICATION: CONFIDENTIAL

Greetings Agents:

A confidental informer that Hipster Central Command has recruited from inside the Music Industry Illuminati has delivered a top secret report about an outbreak of hipster racism at the Video Music Awards. Deep cover asset Miley Cyrus has done it again, covertly performing a minstrel show and has successfully appropriated over a dozen units of cultural capital from people of color.

I am recommending Agent — in — for a special commendation. All of us at Hipster Central Command wish to thank Agent — for his hard work and dedication to the cause. Hail, Victory!

— H.R.

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

Enemy Propagandist Jody Rosen assesses the damage:

Last night, as Cyrus stalked the stage, mugging and twerking, and paused to spank and simulate analingus upon the ass of a thickly set African-American backup dancer, her act tipped over into what we may as well just call racism: a minstrel show routine whose ghoulishness was heightened by Cyrus’s madcap charisma, and by the dark beauty of “We Can’t Stop” — by a good distance, the most powerful pop hit of 2013. A doctoral dissertation could (and will) be written on the racial, class, and gender dynamics of Cyrus’s shtick. [ed: oy vey where can I get some of that gelt?] Cyrus’s twerk act gives minstrelsy a postmodern careerist spin. Cyrus is annexing working-class black “ratchet” culture, the potent sexual symbolism of black female bodies, to the cause of her reinvention.

END TRANSCRIPT

I hope you're holding your breath, Miley
I Like Big … Appropriation of the Cultural Capital of Peoples of Color

Spike LeeBamboozled

8 thoughts on “Hipster Racism Field Report

  1. Hey, I saw Bamboozled too! Excellent movie. Minstrel shows are hilarious. I though Miley’s dance was a very typical example of what the Murkan teenage girls admire.

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    1. I’m actually a pretty big Spike Lee fan. Bamboozled is great, 25th hour is great, just for the “Fuck New York” scene alone, the one with Jody Foster whose name escapes me for a minute was pretty alright. Sucka Free City, which I think was a pilot for a TV show that never got made, was really surprisingly good.

      My lady and I saw Crooklyn, but honestly, it may as well have been a foreign film without subtitles, neither one of us could understand a word of what those Negroes were saying. We had to turn it off half way.

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    2. But actually, I think that the typical reaction of teenage girls to Miley Cyrus’ antics is that she’s “trying too hard.” Admittedly, my sample size is very small; my little cousin and her friends, but even judging by the youtube comments, her shtick has not gone over well.

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  2. I think that visits to the Vigilant Citizen skyrocketed after the Miley Cyrus VMA display.

    I was Reading about the Franklin cover-up and I found this guy:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craig_J._Spence

    Craig J. Spence (1941 – November 10, 1989) was a Republican lobbyist who was found dead in a Ritz-Carlton hotel room in 1989.

    Spence’s name came to national prominence in the aftermath of a June 28, 1989 article in the Washington Times identifying Spence as a customer of a homosexual escort service being investigated by the Secret Service, the District of Columbia Police and the United States Attorney’s Office for suspected credit card fraud. The newspaper said he spent as much as $20,000 a month on the service. He had also been linked to a White House guard who has said he accepted an expensive watch from Mr. Spence and allowed him and friends to take late-night White House tours.

    During a lengthy interview at a Manhattan apartment a few months before his death, Spence alluded to more intricate involvements. “All this stuff you’ve uncovered (involving call boys, bribery and the White House tours), to be honest with you, is insignificant compared to other things I’ve done. But I’m not going to tell you those things, and somehow the world will carry on.”

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  3. What a joke this whole thing is, the shock the fuddy duddy fucks, except this time its the lefttards holding the bag as the shocked. So I asked the female half of my relationship and she said it was disgusting, and that was another laugh since we know the kids that went to our local Highscrewl and their “dancing” was called grinding or basically rubbin it out on the dance floor, another effin joke.

    You cannot shock me and I am a conservative fuddy duddy in practice, but its hilarious when a sniffy leftard tries to lecture me on “letting people do what they want to do” shtick and I reply to shock the fuds situations that maybe the female performer can do a triple penetration act that includes one farm animal, I don’t effin care what tards do except maybe animal cruelty.

    IMO this is women begging for attention, and my only thought is how much can we get for Miley from some mud puppy wanting a white woman. We should sell our culls, advertise them as fair complected, light eyes, white demeanor (maybe not a selling point), straight hair and whatever else a mud puppy dreams about.

    And I’m fucking serious.

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