The Jenny Erikson Charity Spank-Off

So, the manosphere, especially the Christian and traditional blogs, have been closely following the very public divorce of Leif and Jenny Erikson. A conspiracy theory has already been suggested: Jenny Erikson is a creation of dalrock, a fake personality intended to show the absolute worst of modern American white women. Jenny was a paid Republican party hack, suckering conservative Christians into voting for the plutocrats, gangsters, cultists, and hucksters that are the modern GOP. Leif was some sort of honest working engineer, with a stable white collar job, providing for his wife and their two children.

Then Jenny goes all “eat, pray, love” and said she was unhaaaaaapy so she decided to break the vows she took before God, her family, and her community and got a divorce.

Now I’m no expert on women, and am obviously a complete failure at maintaining a long term relationship with a woman, so this is probably a terrible solution, but it’s the only one I can think of. Jenny Erikson needs a good spanking. From Leif, her husband.

Now convincing Jenny to submit to a much deserved and obviously well needed spanking is likely not as hard as it may seem. She’s clearly a narcissist and an attention whore, and other than whatever alimony and child support she is stealing from Leif using the power of the police state, she makes her money on publicity and blog hits. So I figure appealing to this side of her might very well work.

So, I propose a Jenny Erikson Charity Spank-Off. Everyone chips in some amount of dollars per spank, so the more times Leif spanks Jenny, the more money raised. We will donate it to the charity of Jenny’s choice, minus whatever fee she wants. The actual spanking will be posted on youtube, with Jenny keeping whatever ad revenue it generates.

It sounds like a win-win, for Leif, for Jenny, and all the rubberneckers online watching this particular car crash in real time.

So, what do you say, Jenny? It’s for a good cause! It’s for charity!

SpankedWithSlideRule_NationalLampoonArtPosterBook1975

3 thoughts on “The Jenny Erikson Charity Spank-Off

    1. Oh you know me, Denise. I’ll use any excuse to tell a spanking joke. In fact, I sort of have a new series of stories in my head, with Leif and Jenny as the main characters. Jenny will be made to submit to her husband’s authority and subjected to lots of sexy maintenance spankings until she learns to obey her Mister. Leif is an engineer, after all, so he can probably come up with all sorts of complicated knots, restraints, and contraptions with which to hold Jenny still while she gets her punishment for being a very naughty girl. The bruise on her ass will remind her to keep her haughty attitude in check, and show her who’s boss!

      Hmm, sounds kind of hot, huh?

      Leif tells Jenny, “start reading the contract you signed.”

      Jenny begins to read, “I promise to love, honor, and obey …”

      Smack! Leif spanks Jenny once, hard, on her left butt cheek. Jenny winces, her body tensing and she starts breathing heavily.

      “Keep going,” Leif says in a low and menacing tone. “Read the rest.” Jenny continues, “…obey my lawfully wedded husband…”

      Smack! Leif slaps her ass again, in the same place, and the pain rips through Jenny’s body like a jolt of electricity. A cry escapes from her throat … “aaah!”

      “Keep going, Mrs. Erikson,” Leif intones as Jenny pulls against the rope tying her to the bedpost. “We’re not finished yet.”

      Jenny signs, a single tear streaming down from her right eye. She shivers, and keeps reading.

      “Until death do us part.”

      Smack!

      Like

  1. McLintock! is my all time favorite movie. I’m raising my children on it. Even the Jewish shopkeeper is awesome, yelling “My father would have been proud of you!” as McLintock stalks away to spank his errant wife.

    Some day I’m going to write a post on my theory that the movie is intentionally based on Proverbs 31.

    Like

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