My First Porno

hipster-porn

I’m not really proud of it, but I figured with the Duke University Porn Star Bella Knox in the news, I would “out” my short lived porn career. I starred in some early internet “hipster porn.” I got paid $500. This girl asked me to do it as we used to fuck and it was her first time doing porn. I’m pretty sure she didn’t care about feminism or the patriarchy or anything like that, she just wanted the money.

So it’s two sleazy dudes with video cameras and lights in this big house. This was not related to the “official porn industry” in LA, more like artsy hipster types meets dot com porn king wanna-bes. Well that’s what they told us at least.

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It’s an odd thing to have some dude sticking a camera on your balls as you’re humping away on some 19 year old. Of course I did the facial, jerking off in her face and mouth. A lot of it went in her hair. But the main set up was that I had her tied up and flogged her with this paddle, while grabbing her mouth and hair and telling her she was a dirty little slut and that sort of thing. Honestly it was kind of hot.

So I’m hitting her on her ass really hard, and you can start to see the bruises and marks. She was yelping – it’s the only way I can describe it – which came across as this sort of weird mix of hilarity, vulnerability, and raw sexiness. Now the script was terrible but they told us to just free form most of it anyway, as long as we got the basic positions in. So at first it was kind of embarrassing honestly, and I’m thinking shit, am I ever going to get hard? But she was super hot and once I started feeling her up I was good to go. So that’s when we start the scene. I grab her by the hair and slap her across the face and yell at her, “you filthy little whore, you like that shit don’t you? You want more of that, huh?”

Now she’s supposed to have this dejected look, a shamed face, but she was so turned on her eyes and mouth gave it away. So I tell her to bend over the bed, pull down her pants and then I start hitting her with the paddle thing. Then I tie her hands up, do her doggy, she sucks me off some, then she gets on top and rides me, then the facial, etc.

The finished product sucked though, it was totally unsexy. Even the music choice was hokey as hell, this supposedly “menacing” music you might hear in a horror movie or something. Kind of gothy I guess. Remember too, this is long before 50 Shades of Grey. I’ll never stop harping on that book, because it used to be our little hipster secret, until the mainstream discovered our little private world and totally sold us out, dude!

Sigh. I know, I’m a monster.

Well, it was in the editing room that the real struggle began. These guys were all about commerce, and never really appreciated my art. To them, it was just sexploitation, hot hipster girls in trouble, being spanked and abused by a menacing white yuppie sadist! So the piece of shit director cut out a lot of my best work and the other asshole, the money guy, just went with what the director said. I nearly demanded my name be taken off of the production. My third wave, sex positive, pro-BDSM erotic art, turned to tawdry internet sleaze. I became so disillusions with the industry, but there I was, just another artist chewed up and spat out by the money machine, the industry.

I guess I never had that Barton Fink touch.

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