You’ll Know You’re An Alpha Male If…

You’ve ever inconspicuously texted under the table or called from the bathroom another girl while you were on a date.

Umm…

You’ve ever snuck out on a date going badly.

Not “snuck” out, that’s cowardly.

You’ve ever bailed on a date because you met a hotter girl in the interim.

Something like that.

You’ve ever walked into a first date’s apartment, made a bee-line for her bathroom, pissed on the seat, farted loudly, exited, and strolled up to her to plant a passionate kiss.

Farting is a bit immature I think.

You’ve ever held two simultaneous relationships, one for ‘appearances’.

You know what is “beta?” Thinking this lifestyle is “alpha.”

Your women get carried away and relent to raw dog in the heat of the moment.

I can’t say it’s never happened…

You’ve ever brazenly lied to a woman to cover up an infidelity. And didn’t feel bad about it.

This is not something to be proud of.

You’ve ever banged a woman while another woman’s life force was still adhered to your dick.

Neither is this.

You’ve ever said ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ to an attractive woman.

Sure, that’s foreplay.

You’ve ever banged a woman in public, within view of families.

Sort of.

You’ve ever legitimately forgotten about a woman you started dating. Super alpha bonus points if you met her on the street and had to stare blankly for five seconds before recollecting.

Yeah.

You’ve ever forgotten a woman’s name up through the third date. And didn’t bother apologizing for it.

Um, sort of.

You’ve ever steadily pressed for sex beyond three half-hearted ‘No’s, and achieved your goal.

Yeah, but it’s more alpha if you’re the one saying no, right?

You’ve ever replied more than an hour later after a girl texted, and it wasn’t a calculated maneuver. You genuinely didn’t feel like putting in the effort.

Of course.

Girls cum with you in every sex position.

You know what is “beta?” Spelling “come” “cum” – what is this, Penthouse Letters?

You’re not the one who’s nervous.

I call it the “deer in the headlights” look.

You’ve rarely had to wait past the third date for sex.

This says more about the kind of women you are dating than it does your “alphaness” now doesn’t it?

You’ve ever flirted with girls when every social expectation at the time was that you shouldn’t.

Guilty as charged, but being flirty is just a way some people are.

You’ve ever taken a call from a girl while another girl was sleeping naked against your bare chest.

Heh, worse than that.

You’ve ever walked away from a long-term relationship out of boredom.

Maybe but I wouldn’t have admitted it was just boredom.

You’ve ever had to deal with a pregnancy scare.

Who hasn’t

A girl has ever cried for you.

Of course.

You’ve dumped more often than you’ve been dumped, and when the latter happened you rarely had a dry spell longer than a month.

Not sure I think it’s probably about even.

You’ve ever scheduled two dates for the same night. Super alpha bonus points if both dates ended in bangs. Super alpha doubleplusalpha bonus points if both dates ended in bangs together.

Heh.

You’ve ever banged a girl on the first date without either of you using the disinhibition elixir of alcohol.

This is hardly some great feat these days.

You’ve ever dated a girl who was persuaded to, temporarily at least, acquiesce to your insistence on a one-way sexually open relationship.

She was only happy when I was having sex with other women. I would come to find out this is an “official kink.”

You’ve ever acquired an honest-to-god stalker. (This may be indisputable proof of alphaness.)

“Stalker” may be pushing it but something like that.

You’ve had girls approach you and solicit you for a drink, or even sex.

Yes.

You’ve ever taken a girl home without needing an excuse to coax her compliance.

Of course.

You’ve ever had a girl call you an asshole not long before she succumbed to intimacy.

Oh I’ve been called worse than “asshole.”

You’ve ever had a girl spend more on you than you on her before she offered her sex.

Not really.

You’ve ever been eagerly paraded in the presence of your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend.

I’ve been on both sides of this, frankly, it’s horrible behavior on the part of women. Truly disrespectful to both men.

You’ve ever had a girlfriend accuse you of cheating, even when you weren’t.

Of course.

You’ve ever truly, madly, deeply loved two girls at the same time. And they loved you back.

“Love” is such a complex word.

Chateau Heartiste

You’ve ever inconspicuously texted under the table or called from the bathroom another girl while you were on a date.

You’ve ever snuck out on a date going badly.

You’ve ever bailed on a date because you met a hotter girl in the interim.

You’ve ever walked into a first date’s apartment, made a bee-line for her bathroom, pissed on the seat, farted loudly, exited, and strolled up to her to plant a passionate kiss.

You’ve ever held two simultaneous relationships, one for “appearances”.

Your women get carried away and relent to raw dog in the heat of the moment.

You’ve ever brazenly lied to a woman to cover up an infidelity. And didn’t feel bad about it.

You’ve ever banged a woman while another woman’s life force was still adhered to your dick.

You’ve ever said “Are you fucking kidding me?” to an attractive woman.

You’ve ever banged a…

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8 thoughts on “You’ll Know You’re An Alpha Male If…

    1. You’re funny when you’re not being mental 😉

      Did I actually catch you sticking up for me on the NPI thread? Or was that me ‘imagining’ things…

      Like

      1. Oh Harley you know I would never defend you on anything, I wouldn’t want to presume you couldn’t defend yourself. No mansplaining from me 😛

        One of these days you’ll have to tell us about this little spat between you and Viking Bitch. You know us neanderthals get a little rise out of a good catfat.

        You know, Harley, I’m getting real suspicious about why you keep hanging around here. I mean, I write a troll blog full of purposefully unsexy BDSM-ish stories likely crossing the line into abuse and rape, from the perspective of an unreliable narrator with a questionable ability to empathize with women he’s having sex with. It’s worse, and more offensive, than 50 Shades is supposed to be.

        Yet I keep getting drive bys from second wavers, and a few have now become my most prolific and perhaps even valued commenters.

        People are strange.

        Like

      2. When the truth becomes as warped as it is in these times, it takes someone a little deranged to tell it, I suppose.

        As for the BDSM stuff and this recurring fantasy you have that I’d ever participate in it, I won’t. I try to avoid reading it whenever I’ve visited over here. The one time I read one of your demented fantasies, the one about torturing WN women, I was particularly offended and troubled that you had to include a reference to me in it: ‘What movement?’ That was really mean.

        But I do tire of the prudes and moral busybodies that people this ‘movement,’ and sometimes you can be a refreshing and comedic break from them…maybe teach me a few things. Take it easy on inflicting pain, though, huh? Don’t we have enough as a people?

        Since I’m in a nostalgic mood, here’s one from Waylon and Jessi…maybe a little before your time…

        Like

      3. And I’m not a second waver really, since you’re hell bent on giving some label. I was a little girl in the 70’s and thought all that stuff my mom was into was behind us.

        Like

  1. This is what the complaints about “double standards” boil down to. Most guys don’t want to be sluts, one more cock on the carousel. But since women are not marrying young and having children young, no one has much of a choice: either spend your early 20s celibate, or join the slut walkers.

    http://no-maam.blogspot.ca/2012/06/keynesian-sexual-marketplace.html

    Alpha: The “top” male – both sexually and socially.

    Beta: Most males in the population. The average guy.

    Omega: The scum/deviant/criminal class

    Zeta: Weak-willed males

    Alpha males don’t usually get the most partners. Alpha males get the best chick around and she beats off all the other women with a stick. Alpha males are respected in society – they are not only sexually attractive, but they also have great social power and have the respect and admiration of other men. Think back to when you were in high-school. The star quarterback, while he could have shagged a lot of 6’s, 7’s and 8’s, that is not generally what he does. What happens is he gets the prom queen – the best/hottest chick – and they usually stay together for quite a while. He does not trade his “10” in for quickies with a series of “7’s”. The top male pairs off with the top female and they tend to stay together.

    “Omega” males are the scum class as well as the sexually deviant class. These are the bad-boys and these are also the guys who have multiple sex partners. A key characteristic of Omega males is that they cannot form stable relationships. They are not powerful like Alpha males. They might get lots of girls, but essentially they are powerless in society and have little real respect from those around them – especially other males. Girls may screw them, but girls don’t stay with them. Not having the respect of other males makes them socially powerless, and this is the key to why they are not Alpha males.

    However, it is entirely false to confuse the Alpha with Omega traits. One must keep in mind that human beings naturally exhibit pair-bonding and Alphas still pair bond while Omegas do not. Most high partner count people I know, such as my two friends I mentioned above, are Omegas, not Alphas. They are sexual deviants with numerous sexual partners but their social ranking is low and that is why they need to continually game more than one woman at a time. They can only fool a woman into believing they are Alpha for a short amount of time and they have little ability to actually keep a woman of high mating value. Another reason they continually need to have more than one chick on the go is to protect their own emotional vulnerability. Of course, this behaviour also provides the Omega male with social proofing, which helps them get more chicks, but this is a different kind of social proofing than that which the Alpha male gets.

    The “true” Alpha – the high-school football star who’s screwing the prom queen – doesn’t need to be sexually promiscuous in order to be social proofed. He is social proofed already by dating the best chick. All the other girls “know” who the best chick is, and they hate her with an envy that would turn Kermit the Frog three shades greener than he already is. Also, every girl would like to replace the prom queen herself, because they all know that the prom queen’s boyfriend is the highest value male and whoever can displace the prom queen will become the new female atop of their female ranking. In other words, the “real Alpha” doesn’t need to screw dozens of chicks to have social proofing. He’s already got it by banging the hottest chick, which every other girl wishes she could be. Should he and the prom queen split, there will be a plethora of women from the lowest sexual rank to the highest trying to achieve status by being the prom queen’s replacement. He will be snapped up again very, very fast by another very high value female, and he will again ignore all the women below that level.

    Like

    1. Guess I am just to old to consider that getting laid makes you more valuable then the guy who can still change his own oil. Zippy Catholic puts it better then I. These omegas are considered alpha by women, because so many men in this time period consider getting laid their ultimate goal. So the omegas get the respect of the true betas which then signal the ladies, that yes, actually this cad is of high calibre. If men as a group, were to stop celebrating these omegas and trying to be like them, started celebrating the guys who can change their own oil, teach a kid to throw a curve ball, you know, the things that really matter in life, then I think that women would respond.

      As is put out so much in the sphere, woman want to be led. They respond to what the men are saying. We are saying right now that getting pussy makes you a man, FULL STOP! Pathetic really.

      But it could be my age, and seeing the consequences of the life of these omegas when they finally hit the wall, having to travel to Thailand to keep feeding their need of ego gratification, living with cats, yes CATS!, being perpetually drunk. Almost all of the omegas I grew up with are alcoholics or still heavy into drugs. But all of them are bitter and lonely. This is what men want to celebrate?

      http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/rationalizing-sluttery-as-a-path-to-marriage/#comment-116796

      Like

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