In Boy Scouts They Gave Me A Merit Badge For Tying Knots

Little did they know… or maybe they did?

‘Hurt me!’ she cried, pressing her body up against the shed wall. ‘Alright,’ I said. ‘You’re a terrible cook and I fancy your sister.’

She leant over the kitchen table. ‘Smack that bottom,’ she squealed, ‘Smack it hard!’ ‘I am,’ I said, ‘But the ketchup just won’t come out.’

well-now-what

Frantically I tore off her dress, bra and knickers. My heart was racing but I just managed to close the wardrobe door before she got home.

As I lay there on the floor, my naked body covered in treacle and whipped cream, I heard those inevitable words . . . ‘Clean up on aisle 3.’

sir-simpleton‘Are you ready to be tortured in a way only a woman can torture a man?’ she asked. I nodded nervously. ‘OK’ she said and ate half my chips.

Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave flow through it. I probably should’ve told her about the new electric fence.

If 50 Shades Was Written By a Man

moment-i-met-you

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