The Hipster Clan’s Polygamous Breeding Program: Husbands, Wives, Concubines and Studs

breeding program

Peter, first son by a concubine, second son and two daughters by a wife, one grandson

Edward, first son by a concubine, second concubine near delivery.

Henry, currently breeding first concubine.

Luke, few years to breeding age.

Hipster I: first son by concubine.

Patricia: Four sons by husband.

Elizabeth: Two daughters by husband.

Catherine: One son, two daughters by husband.

Susan: son and daughter by husband, daughter by boy toy

Nicole: Three daughters by husband.

How is that not fulfilling the 14 words, my friends?

conventional_breeding_scheme_final_0_0Our genetic material is being successfully passed to the next generation. It goes without saying that we are a European tribe and we have bred with European people, and our descendents are White. The Grandparents of the Hipster Clan have many hundreds, perhaps a thousand, descendents. Our clan populates three continents. We have essentially incorporated perhaps fifty smaller families into our tribe.

Who dares to lecture our Patriarchs for having many wives and concubines? Who dares to lecture our Great Mothers for having husbands, and perhaps a few random superior studs for breeding purposes now and again?

Any fillies out there that need breeding, we have stallions with demonstrably superior seed. We’ll inseminate you in person or artificially, your choice.

And we have an up and coming crop of observably superior fillies available as wives for eligible sons of families with similar breeding. Plus one, er, budding Matriarch that might want to get bred by a superior young stud.

Quality virgins of good families may be taken as wives, any hot looking healthy white girl can be bred as a concubine.

Again, how is this not fulfilling the 14 Words, my friends? While the Hipster Clan grows larger and larger, other clans pass away through reduced fertility. The lucky ones breed with the Hipster Clan and we incorporate their relatives as the help, essentially.

We may not have their money but we're better looking!
We may not have their money but we’re better looking!


Partially inspired by an old Roissy article that hilariously compared dating profiles to horse breeding ads.

7 thoughts on “The Hipster Clan’s Polygamous Breeding Program: Husbands, Wives, Concubines and Studs

    1. Among siblings and cousins, yep. Grandma and Grandpa had 13 children, 12 lived, 10 reproduced. My siblings and I have eight children between us, very likely a few unknown bastards, and two grandchildren so far, more on the way. Our tribe is huge. As far as I know, everyone is white, with the exception of one cousin or second cousin who married a black girl and an uncle who married a Hawaiian.


    2. My sisters and girl cousins are baby factories. My sister only stopped having kids because the doctor told her she had to for her health.

      We have hundreds of acres of land in two different countries, so we’re good even if there’s a Great Collapse.

      14 Words, dude, you thought I was joking?


      1. Oh man, I was referring to the Romney’s.
        I grew weed back in high school. I was trying to raise money to get a friend a couch. His family was pretty poor.
        Out of five plants, five were male.


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