Church Lady

So I’m sitting in the passenger seat, waiting for her to drive me home. I’m going to get changed and she is taking me to church.

No, I’m not lying. To church. After our hookup. It makes sense if you think about it.

I’m basically hung over and the bright sunlight is not helping. So we had snuck out to her car, but she was waylaid by her neighbor, this middle aged woman. So this woman is giving her shit, essentially.

She goes, “yeah I’m not sure what it was last night. Did you hear it? There was this banging. Over and over again. Like something repeatedly hitting the wall. Bang bang bang bang! It went on for what seemed like hours! Do you know what it was?”

So this girl was just playing along. “Oh I’m not sure.”

The women just would not shut up about it. “Oh yeah, bang bang bang over and over all night long. I couldn’t sleep it was so loud.” So the woman takes a good look at me, in the passenger seat, wearing sunglasses, nursing a hangover.

“Yeah, bang bang bang all night long! I couldn’t sleep!” she says again. She keeps eyeing me suspiciously.

This girl just stays blank. What a trooper.

Now I do not remember how I met this girl, but I’m guessing it was one of these charity events. So, I was slumming it with the “anti-facists” types as they had great drugs and we always involved in these various left-wing sorts of causes, and there was an uninterrupted supply of easy pussy that would volunteer at these sorts of charity events. You see, girls need to feel like they are doing good, and as most girls are masochists in some way, “helping the poor” or “feeding the homeless” or “protesting against injustice” provides them moral cover for what they are really doing – stalking moody, troubled boys into some “cause.”

So this girl – I don’t remember her name – I only fucked her the one time. She paraded me around her church the next day. Now she wasn’t the best looking girl in the world – but her body? Fucking prime grade A+++. Holy fucking god this girl had a body that would not quit. Great rack, smooth, perfect, milky white skin. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Her ass – holy fucking fuck.

So when we are in her bed naked, I’m feeling her up – holy uuuuh fuck. So wonderful, perfect. So I’m fucking her hard and fast and she’s moaning and into it. The head board of her bed just keeps smacking the wall and making a really loud noise. So she would stop me and say “oh we’ll wake the neighbors” and I’d slow down, but a minute later she is back to moaning and rocking her hips back and forth so I start going faster and bang goes the headboard again.

So it’s hilarious. She runs the youth group at her church – this church is one of those old time White Anglo-Saxon Protestant churches that barely even pretended to be religious or Christian anymore. It was strictly a social club for the “right people” with the “correct opinions.” Essentially, it was a big tax write off and they ran a bunch of charities around town. So she actually invites me to two events to show me off. I happily obliged her. The first was before I fucked her, to a sort of weekly meeting for 20 somethings at the church. The dudes there were all geeky, not particularly attractive but very well employed in the tech industry types. Their girlfriends were essentially the female equivalents – quite better looking than their boyfriends, just as smart but not as geeky-obsessive, and patiently waiting for a promotion so he would get on with it, buy a ring, and get her pregnant.

I had a feeling that every boy had fucked every girl in the place, that they had all known each other in this church since they were teenagers, and after a few years of partner swapping everyone had settled with someone and were now all looking to take it to the next level. There were some uncomfortable jokes about that sort of thing.

I had a feeling that my girl was still swinging, so to speak. She was likely only fucking me to make one of these boys jealous so he’d get on with it and propose, or whatever.

So we party with these types and have all sorts of “serious” conversations about “issues.” You see, that is what made up superior to typical upper middle class whites. While regular people would go to parties and the guys would talk about football and the stock market, and the gals would gossip about their kids and social circle, we talked about “serious issues.” We all knew exactly what the correct opinions were, and you got points if you were one step ahead of the game and knew about the latest trend in intersectionality of sexism and racism, or some such. Of course, everyone is as white as can be. Helping the Negro is what you do when you are showing off, no one is actually going to invite a colored to their party.

Oh, right, so I’m fucking this Unitarian-Universalist girl. Bang bang bang bang! The headboard is hitting the wall, she is moaning and totally getting off on it. I’m putting my back into it – I’m doing my best. You see, I’m a very generous lover and I always try my hardest to get them off.

Well, it’s about that time, so I flip her over and just start wailing on her perfectly shaped, perfectly smooth, perfectly round white ass. It’s like a sculpture. I mean, you could take a picture and frame it, it was that perfectly shaped. This girl’s body – I mean you cannot exaggerate. From the neck down, at least, she was Venus herself.

So she’s up on her knees, her face in the pillow, moaning, and I am just going to fucking town. I’ve got my hand on her leg, just sort of feeling her up, how soft her skin is, how perfectly shaped her body is.

Bang bang bang!

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