Banned from Twitter for a fouth and likely last time, I figured I’d regale my dwindling audience with this hilariously funny, nearly 100 year old joke – that to this day, is taken seriously by Conservatives, Neo-Reactionaries, and superstitious Catholics. I’ll be the first to admit to having a sort of begruding respect for Taxil – in the same sense of I do L. Ron Hubbard. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how ridiculous the fiction – as Taxil says, people want it “hot and strong.” People want to have their superstitions and their preconceptions validated.
So I can tell half-true, half-fictional stories of Manhattan orgies with barely legal trafficked Russian models – sort of a poor man’s version of Trump’s own stories of Studio 54 – and see how much people will believe and how much they think is fictional. I win either way, I’m just a story teller after all. The more true the stories, the worse I look. But the more people believe, the more they are admitting their own prurient interests in such things. If I’m a bad guy, a moral leper, well, what to make of my audience who have for five years breathlessly waited for the next installments? What to think of my readers – male and female – who are both shocked – and titillated – by stories of White suburban teenage debauchery and peeks behind the curtain of what the sexually degenerate New York elites (and wanna-be elites) really do?
Cocaine parties and public sex orgies at night clubs? That’s how Trump got famous, after all. And you all voted for him!
Never forget, Taxil was granted a personal audience with the Pope – the Vicar of Christ – who used his position as the leader of the entire Catholic church to publically endorse Taxil’s absurd joke. The Pope bought it, hook line and sinker. Apparently God – whom the Pope presumes to speak for – choose to allow the guy on the throne in Rome to make an utter fool of himself – and reveal his own prurient interests in just what sort of sex parties those Freemasons were having (apparently, the kind with women – something Vatican Catholics are clearly unfamiliar with, celibates apparently with a preference for little boys.)
I’m sorry, it’s just impossible to take Catholics seriously – religious people in general.
“The public made me what I am; the arch-liar of the period,” confessed Taxil, “for when I first commenced to write against the Masons my object was amusement pure and simple. The crimes I laid at their door were so grotesque, so impossible, so widely exaggerated, I thought everybody would see the joke and give me credit for originating a new line of humor. But my readers wouldn’t have it so; they accepted my fables as gospel truth, and the more I lied for the purpose of showing that I lied, the more convinced became they that I was a paragon of veracity.
“Then it dawned upon me that there was lots of money in being a Munchausen of the right kind, and for twelve years I gave it to them hot and strong, but never too hot. When inditing such slush as the story of the devil snake who wrote prophecies on Diana’s back with the end of his tail, I sometimes said to myself: ‘Hold on, you are going too far,’ but I didn’t. My readers even took kindly to the yarn of the devil who, in order to marry a Mason, transformed himself into a crocodile, and, despite the masquerade, played the piano wonderfully well.
“One day when lecturing at Lille, I told my audience that I had just had an apparition of Nautilus, the most daring affront on human credulity I had so far risked. But my hearers never turned a hair. ‘Hear ye, the doctor has seen Nautulius,’ they said with admiring glances. Of course no one had a clear idea of who Nautilus was, I didn’t myself, but they assumed that he was a devil.
“Ah, the jolly evenings I spent with my fellow authors hatching out new plots, new, unheard of perversions of truth and logic, each trying to outdo the other in organized mystification. I thought I would kill myself laughing at some of the things proposed, but everything went; there is no limit to human stupidity”.