OK, so sue me, I don’t keep up with the pop singers any more. I first heard about Taylor Swift, I don’t know, maybe a decade ago when one of her country songs was on the radio. She was like 20 and cute as a button and honestly for girl-country she was pretty good – not Dixie Chicks level of talent, but good.
Then when she turned pop and got really big she was accused of “hipster racism” so of course I wrote a few posts about that. I do think she looks delicious. Then people were posting all those hilarious memes of Taylor Swift with Hitler quotes, then Hitler memes with Taylor Swift quotes, and it was honestly pretty funny. Then the 4chan crowd turned her into a White Avatar so of course I was into it.
Then she kept on being attacked for not talking about politics, and it was honestly refreshing to see a celebrity NOT boring us with their uneducated and irrelevant opinions on topics they knew nothing about.
So a few years ago I was dating a Taylor Swift look-a-like, who not at all coincidentally, really liked Taylor Swift. I told her, oh sure I like Taylor Swift too, her country stuff was real nice. This poor gal felt the need to defend Taylor Swift saying, hey everyone criticizes her for writing lyrics all about her love life and all but she says that’s her life and people like it.
I thought it was odd – why would anyone criticize a chick pop singer for writing songs about romance, especially a young one like Taylor Swift? What else is she supposed to write about? I mean, girls are into romance and teen girls are into their feelings about boys. I never felt the need to criticize Taylor Swift for writing love songs, I’d praise Taylor Swift for writing love songs and not boring us to tears about political bullshit.
Then out of the blue Taylor Swift turns hard core Democrat “woke” progressive and especially pointed out how “who you love” doesn’t matter, or whatever. Then Vox Day says, hey Taylor just come out of the closet already, and I was like, what? So I looked up “is Taylor Swift a lesbian” and, oh my god, she is a total carpet muncher.
Out secret moments
In your crowded room
They’ve got no idea
About me and you
I don’t want you like a best friend
All those songs weren’t about boys, they were about girls! Which, I don’t know, is just even more amusing to me. All her boyfriends were basically just PR stunts set up by her managers and apparently they’ve been keeping her away from her actual scissor sisters because they didn’t want the gravy train to end. But now she’s peaked, she’s turning 30 soon, and the teenyboppers have moved on to other pop stars that I’ll never listen to so Taylor Swift is now transitioning into her Indigo Girls stage. Expect her to soon be headlining whatever this generation’s version of the Lillith Fair is.
It doesn’t matter of course, her girlfriends have all been ultra-blonde hair blue eyes sorority girls like her, so while she may be a lipstick lesbian, she’s still a RACIST.
Tell all the friends who think they’re so together
That these are ghosts and mirages, these thoughts of fairer weather
Though it’s storming out I feel safe within the arms of love’s discovery