Once on MWIR I said I’ve had sex with “a hundred” women but that wasn’t really an accurate number. So a while back I’m hanging out with my friend and bitching about my ex-girlfriend and this girl I used to hook up with and my friend asks me how many women I’ve had sex with. I started counting and quickly realized I’d have to take off my shoes just to get through the college years. So over the course of a week or so my friend and I start actually writing it down and it’s around 50. That’s a fairly accurate count.
Yep, I’m a huge, huge slut. Or at least I used to be.
Now, if you believe the manosphere types, this is some sort of great feat, some sort of “accomplishment,” something that only 20% of men have the ability to do. Frankly, I don’t believe it. I’m a handsome fellow, but I’m no Brad Pitt. I have “game” – meaning, I know how to flirt – but most of my sluttiness was long before the “manosphere” and “PUA” and the like.
So what’s the secret? I’d say living in the big city helps, as well as moving around a lot. You are always meeting new people and being introduced to new social scenes so you meet a lot of women. If you meet a lot of women, you have more opportunity to have sex with them. There really is no trick or anything.
I’m no slut shamer and I don’t have any sort of bad feelings about the girls I hooked up with, on the contrary, I have quite fond memories of most of them and think they had excellent taste in men. While I have most certainly had my heart broken more than once – and broken a few hearts myself – the flings and hookups just felt good. I do not think of the women I’ve had sex with as “sluts” or in some way bad. They were just girls that wanted to have sex with me. Sometimes we were “boyfriend and girlfriend” and other times just some random woman I met at a bar.
Well, after thinking about it and doing some research, I found out that 50 is a lot. Most men and women do not have anything close to that number of sexual partners. In fact, it’s like less than 10%. That level of promiscuity is often associated with borderline personality disorder and men who have trouble keeping long term relationships going. My longest relationship was nearly 7 years, three others were 2-3 years. The 7 year one may as well have been an “open relationship” – I was fucking all sorts of girls and I know she fucked at least a few guys during that time too. Sex was never our problem, we both very much liked having sex with each other, but we were both hotheads and it was pretty much an emotional roller coaster. One day she just walked out on me, she just got bored. I was ready to settle down and she wasn’t.
Sex isn’t necessarily some great emotional thing for me. I’m perfectly comfortable with having “no strings attached” sex with a women I met that night. I know there are some women that are the same way. But I have a feeling that for most women, sex is a lot bigger of a deal than it is for many men. You only have to think of the reproductive systems themselves to understand the difference. A man makes a billion sperm a day, he could impregnate a new woman every day. A woman makes one ovum a month for 30 years and that’s it. Women get pregnant for 9 months. In the era of reliable scientific birth control, women have been “liberated” but I still guess that sex is more “intimate” for a woman than it is for a man.
So the manosphere says that women have an “alpha fucks and beta bucks” strategy. What this means is that gals have sex with the best looking men – the “alphas” – when they are young and hot, then when they approach “the wall,” they settle down with some beta schlub they aren’t really that into because the hot alphas are not longer answering their texts. They rationalize this by saying they are now “ready” for a “nice guy.”
Of course, it’s a horribly insulting thing to say to a man. I don’t think women realize how insulting it really is. I don’t think the women mean to be insulting, but they just don’t get it. The point of my parody article “slutty flings and virginal rings” was just reversing the sexes – and how awful it sounds. Men like me get accused of “pumping and dumping” women, while women like me are just “finding themselves” or “weren’t ready for a relationship” and the like. It’s sort of ridiculous.
So as long as women have this strategy, men really have no choice but to be the “alpha fucks” and not the “beta bucks.” It’s sort of a prisoner’s dilemma.
I don’t really have any regrets, per se, at least not about the casual sex. When I was in high school they basically handed out free condoms and said “have fun kids!” So, we did. Thankfully, I was always pretty rigorous about using condoms so I never got any STDs – and I’ve been tested numerous times. But if I had to do it all over again, I’d be a lot less slutty.
I would have stayed with my college girlfriend, but the problem was I wasn’t established enough to be a husband and a father. I was still in college, I was making virtually no money, and I simply couldn’t afford to have a wife. If there was community support for young married couples, we could have worked things out and we would probably still be together. But I never had the authority that a husband has, and birth control meant no kids, so difficulties in the relationship were harder to work out. Either one of us could just walk away at any time and that had a psychological impact on the commitment.
I’m a big fan of courtshippledge.com because if there was a culture of courting, as opposed to “dating” I’d almost certainly be married to my college sweetheart and have two kids by now. Instead, I’m trying to figure out if an ex-girlfriend had my baby. It’s impossible to really know, she’s blocked me on all social media and basically won’t talk to me. It’s sort of driving me nuts but I really don’t know if I should push the issue or not. She was this super hot 22 year old yoga chick and I just went nuts over her. Then she wound up dumping me to get back together with her high school boyfriend. What can you do? These are the new rules.
Women want to postpone childbearing as long as possible. I really do not understand this weird anti-natalist attitude among a lot of white women, I had always assumed that women had this drive to get pregnant, but clearly there are many that do not. You’re never going to stop teenagers and young adults from having sex, so you either have early marriage and early childbearing – or you have this, the hook up culture, “dating” and serial monogamy. This is what women want, it’s Sexual Utopia in Power. It’s women, not men, that drive this.
As for all the spanking stuff, honestly that’s mostly me hopping on the 50 Shades bandwagon to get people to read the 9/11 story. So far it’s working great. Although I can assure you, there are lots – *lots* – of women that like being tied up and spanked. It never fails to surprise me the kind of stuff women are into.