Because of the inspiring Senator Elizabeth Warren, I have now found the courage to publically identify as an Indian (feather, not dot.)
I have always identified as a Native American, not only because I was born in America, but also because in fact my ancestors created America. But somewhere in there about 400 years back, one on my ancestors married an Amerindian. So I am a Native American no matter how you define it. I have more Indian blood than Senator Fauxchonatas.
So first, I want a casino. Second, I demand you all get the hell out of my country which you stole from me. You’ll all illegal immigrants as far as I’m concerned.
I am also a third generation Holocaust survivor, as my grandfather survived the Holocaust as the Nazis never caught him. So I also expect Holocaust reparations. Get on that you nazi Germans.
Thirdly, my ancestors actually evolved in Africa and emigrated out of the Dark Continent millions of years ago, which makes me an African-American. Hell I’m at least as much of an African-American as former President Barack Obama. So that means I want my 40 acres and a mule (but I’ll accept a goat instead as they do a fantastic jobs of clearing brush.)
I’d prefer the 40 acres be located in West Palm Beach county, Florida, on the ocean.
Get to it, you racists.