Mr. Grey: “I could hold you to some impossibly high ideal, like Angel Clare, or I could debase you completely, like Alec d’Urberville.”
Anastasia: “Well, if there’s only two options, I take debasement.”
The film version of 50 Shades of Grey came out this weekend, and the media, online and off, is in full hate mode. Full disclosure: I’ve never read it. But my lady friend did, and her opinion was the typical one: poorly written and kind of goofy. I think she was upset it wasn’t really racy enough. For all of the brouhaha about the BDSM, apparently Mr. Grey didn’t even spank Ana all that much.
On reddit’s conspiracy section, someone asked: why all this hate toward some silly romance novel? The hate and “controversy” over what amounts to “Wuthering Heights with spanking” is somewhat astounding. I realize some in the White Nationalist crowd get their klan robes in a bunch over anything sexual that isn’t married missionary position. Forget the queers and the sluts – even a husband tying up his wife is “degenerate” and caused by “jew porn” and yet another sign of the Total Collapse Of Western Society And Christendom. So, our friends over at the Daily Stormer have added BDSM to their long list of “degeneracy” along with the homos and sluts and miscegenators.
The manosphere types, especially the Christians, often mention that feminism has infected even the right wing conservatives and the Church. White men are “White Knights” – especially the older generation – and automatically cater to whatever women want, acting like “manginas.”
I would posit it’s all of a piece. Sure, traditional conservatives and Christians are not “feminist” in the cultural Marxist sense of the word; believing that women and men are separate “social classes” engaged in the “class struggle” of oppressors vs. the oppressed. But there is a wide and deep habit of “White Knighting” in traditionalist circles – and it is absolutely related to the bizarre hatred toward 50 Shades of Grey – a silly piece of erotica with some spanking and bondage, after all.
Not only does feminism “shame” male sexuality – we’re all rapists, wife beaters and we “objectify” women’s bodies, after all – but so does conservatism and modern Christianity. For the right-wingers, feminists are correct that men are deeply afraid of women’s sexuality. But it’s for a good reason.
If men really knew what turns women on, civilization would come to a halt, because so much of civilization is based on chivalry and wanting to believe that women tend toward monogamy and are attracted to “good men.”
They are not. Quite the opposite, in fact.
When men discuss their own sexuality, they quite often focus on how shallow it is – a nice pair of tits and a round ass. Men will go on and on about how they will “fuck anything that moves” and how men are all “sluts.” But these same men project this quite Victorian notion onto women. You see this in the worst parts of the manosphere, who really do believe – and the feminists have them correctly pegged here – that women want to “trade sex for resources.” The man provides the “resources” and the women pay for it with sex – which the man wants, and the women don’t, really.
Then, when these manosphere men look at how women actually behave – quite the opposite of their Victorian fantasy – they get angry and resentful. They drag the women down from that pedestal they placed her on and disparage her as a “hypergamous slut.”
I feel for women, I really do, because they are only allowed to be a Madonna, or a Whore. There’s never anything in between.
Of course, the feminists hate 50 Shades of Grey because Ana is submissive and Mr. Grey is dominant. It’s essentially a Patriarchal Rape Fantasy, and feminists hate women’s sexuality even more than Conservative men do. The same feminists that hate the idea of 50 Shades would be praising a similar novel up and down if the roles were reversed. If it was a high powered woman CEO Dominatrix that loves to spank young studly pool boys, the feminists would love it (even though it would leave them drier than the Sahara Desert.) But the fact the novel essentially portrays traditional roles – the man is powerful, the woman is submissive – they hate it.
You will find the worst hate coming from the uber-feminist “BDSM Community.” The “BDSM Community” has done nothing but shriek about 50 Shades of Grey, saying it’s not “real BDSM” – they didn’t even use s safe word!!! – and that it’s really just abuse. The BDSM community keeps hating on the “50 Shaders” – young women interested in BDSM because of reading the novel, and how they “totally have the wrong idea.” Just like hipsters upset that the mainstream has finally caught on to some underground band, the “BDSM Community” feels like it’s losing it’s monopoly on what “real BDSM is” and love nothing more than to morally posture about how everyone else is doing it “wrong.”
Believe me, the “BDSM Community” is more obnoxious than the worst sorts of “Social Justice Warriors” blathering on about “transphobia” and “tolerance for Otherkin.”
Of course, the humorless conservatives, including Christians, are not only afraid of their own penises, but doubly afraid of vaginas, apparently. Bondage? That’s “degenerate!” “Spanking? Only an evil, sick man would be rough with a woman! Sex is supposed to be about tender caresses and the missionary position. My wife in an innocent angel, why, she doesn’t get turned on ever, except when I rub her feet on date night! My daughter is totally chaste and she tells all those nasty boys “no” – she would never purposefully and with malice aforethought seduce a man – especially not an older man! That’s just sick!”
To any man who actually has experience with women, these guys are jokes. I remember these fathers well, from high school and college. They “trusted” their daughters, so no problem her taking the car and meeting up with Sleazy Hipster Boyfriend for some good, clean teenage fun.
Like bowling or watching a movie, you know. Certainly not blowjobs in the car, threesomes and all sorts of raunchy sex. Only “those kinds of girls” do that – “not my wife and daughter.”
You have to laugh.
Women are sexually aroused by power. It doesn’t make any difference whether the man with the power is “good” or “evil” – in fact, I suspect women have an instinct toward “evil men” frankly. Women are sexually aroused by being overwhelmed by that power, to submitting to that power – willingly, or even hotter, unwillingly.
The key part of the Rape Fantasy is that the woman is so desirable that the man, powerful though he is, is in fact, overpowered by her – by his desire for her.
Feminism makes women deeply ashamed of their own sexuality, and that is why the “BDSM Community” was invented. Gals want what they want sexually, so the “BDSM Community” does its best to contain their submissive natures. That is why there is all the obsession with “safe words” and “consent” and “role play.” It has to be “just playing,” “just role play,” and “verbally consented to without duress.”
To feminists, a woman consenting to be tied up and flogged at a sex club is fine – but a wife obeying her husband; that’s sexist misogyny. A woman who is a “slave” in the “BDSM Community” can be collared and made to eat dogfood – that’s just a “kink.” But a girl putting out for her boyfriend to keep him happy – that’s “date rape.”
Conservatives are right, in a sense. Because of women’s hypergamous nature, unleashed female sexuality will destroy a civilization. Monogamy exists for a reason, patriarchy exists for a reason. Patriarchy makes men invest in children, and monogamy is how men are assured that the children are his. Without monogamy and without patriarchy, men have no incentive to invest in the future, in the society, in the tribe. Without Patriarchy and Monogamy, there is no civilization.
Women are hypergamous, and polygamy is the nature state of humans. Women have little problem sharing a high status man with other women. The wives of wealthy and desirable men have been looking the other way at their husband’s affairs since forever – it’s the natural state of things. Most women would rather put up with cheating from a handsome, wealthy man than be married to a faithful but poor schlub.
The reason we have monogamy is because, left to their own devices, women would share the top 50% of men, and the bottom 50% of men would have no women at all.
Yet, for a society to actually work, you need the bottom half of men. It’s those “betas” that make the trains run on time, not to mention kill the ragheads that are living on top of our oil.
Since reliable, scientific birth control was invented, women have been able to pursue a “double strategy” – the so called “alpha fucks and beta bucks.” By postponing marriage, children, and family formation, women have been able to get sex from men “out of their league” while young, but still be able to find a caring man “in her league” for marriage. Men who object to their wives previous promiscuity are simply shamed as “insecure” and the whole point of giving out free condoms in high school is to make sure that there are no virgins left by the time boys and girls are of marriageable age.
That’s by design, because men might choose the virgins for marriage, thus incentivize women to remain chaste.
This worked for 50 years, until the internet destroyed the consensus, like it has the consensus on so many things. The “manosphere” has sort of let the cat out of the bag. The numbers don’t lie – marriage is a dead institution. If present trends continue – and they almost certainly will – most people will never marry. Fertility will continue to drop like a rock, and more and more men will simply “opt out” of society.
It’s laughable to read the complaints of pseudo-feminist women wondering where all the chivalry has gone. Chances are, women aren’t even going to be taken out on proper dates anymore. For the average men, women have virtually nothing to offer him – but sex. As the days of a wife, a mother to your children, and an exclusive lover are gone, what do women have that men need? Just the sex, that’s it.
You can see the results of this with the increasingly crass attitudes of men toward women, and vice-versa. Many advanced cultures are going through this phenomenon, Japan being a noticeable example, with their “herbivore men” who don’t bother chasing women, never get married, and simply drop out of the culture. They do not contribute to the culture except in the most minimal way, as consumers.
The same thing is happening in the USA, although mass non-white immigration and multi-culturalism obscures the effects somewhat. The bottom is dropping out of the White middle class, and it dropped out of the White working class 30 years ago – exactly at the time when the Sexual Revolution was finally mainstreamed.
This is not a coincidence.
Feminists and Conservative both hate 50 Shades for the same basic reason: it’s an accurate account of women’s sexuality. Feminists hate it because it reminds them that women want “the wrong thing.” Women are supposed to want an “equal relationship with a peer who respects her as a person.” But women tend to actually go for men who are higher status than her, and if he’s “emotionally unavailable” she just wants him more. Conservatives are also upset that women want “the wrong thing.” Women are supposed to want a Good Conservative Christian – you know, like them. Instead, women go for the Bad Men, even men who are “abusive” and they generally don’t get wet for the husband that reads the Bible to her before he gently fucks her in the missionary position. Worse for the conservatives, women are not particularly interested in monogamy. They want one man – at a time – but are always looking for the opportunity to “trade up” and while young, they are in no hurry to marry the Beta Boy Next Door that’s “in her league” – not when she still has access to Studly Hockey Players to gang-bang after practice.
That is where all this hate for a silly romance novel with some bondage and spanking comes from. It’s not about the bondage and spanking.
It’s about power.
That’s why they call it “Power Exchange.”